Whatever It Takes

I am not quite sure who to address here.

I would like to talk about fiction, but I’m not sure how many people love hearing about my writing process or my torment therein.

I know I have at least two readers.

Haley is cursed with creating graphics every week that reflect an appropriate, 1-second, encapsulation of what I am trying to produce for… Tiarra.

Yup, reader, number, two, is the other woman who is cursed to make sure you folks can read these. (Granted, they are pretty polished before she gets to them… I’m just saying…)

I am in between writing sections of book four and thought a blog post was important. Hell, even if people jump in one week and off the next, I feel like a little humor or voice in these words would be something someone might enjoy on their lunch break. Or while they shit.

If you read my blogs on the toilet, I have the UPMOST respect for you.

HISTORY TIME!

Roman bathhouses actually had scrolls for when one needed to oblige that familiar call of nature.

In colonial times, (because I’m American and we think we are the only country on the planet sometimes) (I know we aren’t. I love history, and in particular, I am a self-professing-amateur medievalist.) we Americans would wipe our ass with newspaper or other paper like that… and yes, we would read it first.

I don’t know what year, but Verizon conducted a study where they found that NINETY PERCENT of smartphone-using adults read text on their phones while they shit.

DOES ANYONE WIPE THEIR PHONES DOWN AFTER THEY POOP WITH A CLOROX WIPE?!?!

Don’t touch someone else’s phone is all I’m saying. We got bathroom germs crawling over that rubberized cellphone case.

I’m actually laughing at my computer.

I love bathroom humor.

I would call this bathroom dark humor, however.

ANYWAY!

If someone is reading my blog while they shit, I’m happy. I have the best odds for that.

I’m laughing again.

Glancing at the title of this post, you’re probably wondering how I’m going to tie this all up.

I could say that I’m listening to “Whatever It Takes” while I’m writing this. To be honest, that’s my “Rocky Balboa” song I get hyped too before I take my own shit…

Not really. But if you listen to that song with that context, you will laugh your ass off. If you don’t, you’re not human.

I have come to be quite content with the fact that my fiction, my voice, will reach the people it needs too, and that whomever enjoys my fiction is exactly who I want it to excite. I don’t necessarily want a million readers, but I would like a dozen people who wait patiently for each installment of my creations. With those twelve in mind, I sit, and write, and miss out on plenty of things everyone else has time for. But not Stranger Things season 3… Not at all. Or Chernobyl. Craig Mazin for the *explicit* win! (If you haven’t seen that… Go… Now.) (I appreciate my brother-in-law Andre for showing me his beautiful writing.)

So, for those twelve people, I will write.

And I will do whatever it takes so they are happy, reading every piece. Hell, I’m happy writing for them.

Yes, two of those twelve are Tiarra and Haley.

Even though they threaten my life every time they get into the books.

I can’t even tell you how much death I will have from them with the next series.

P.S.- That one is already written and will come out like a damned Haymaker.

Now I want breakfast with my parents and siblings in Arizona…

OKAY! BACK TO… The Time of Tears: The Revolution of the Nine! (<<that’s the title of book 4…)

Have a great week! (Tony the Tiger voice included.)

(That’s in your head now, Huh?)