The Editor

WHY!? WHY DO THEY BOTH WRITE WITHOUT INDENTS!

Anyway, let’s start the disclaimers…

Tiarra is amazing, detailed, intelligent, and a hardcore introvert. That means she cusses to keep you away. We had a few arguments about editing her post. I can’t stop laughing as I write this because, well, you will see.

Anyway, I don’t understand why this crap formatting keeps putting spaces in between my sentences and why at 2 am, when I’m writing these intros, that I can remember to NOT HIT THE TAB BUTTON AFTER EVERY PARAGRAPH!

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy Tiarra. Both her and Haley’s blog posts took months of threatening and coaxing that never paid off. They both yelled at me, “FINE! I’LL DO IT! JUST SHUT UP!”

So I did.

Tiarra has her own company called Allotrope Editing where she is blessed, nay, gifted with the privilege of sorting through all of my drivel, making solid fiction for your appreciated consumption. She also is editing a World History textbook and by the time of this posting… lives in Seattle and has left me and Haley alone in Denver. (Traitor). Give it up for, Tiarra!

(And have a bottle of Purex ready to wash your eyes out after reading.)

Hello Everyone.

Tiarra here. (THE editor).

“The” is capitalized because I’m just the greatest editor of all time. You know. No big deal.

Lol.

Before I start, I wanted to let you guys know that I cuss. A lot. I love my F bombs. Unfortunately, after I wrote this, Jon told me that if he’s not allowed to drop F bombs then neither am I. What kind of backwards shit is that? I blame Haley.

We have gathered here today to read the blog post of the introverted, reclusive editor because she has been nagged for 6 months (almost anyway) to write this godforsaken thing. Eventually forced, (as you can see because here I am right?) after some masterclass procrastinating.

Are you guys getting a feel for my personality yet?

Anyway, the reason why it’s taken me so long to get this done is because, well, I hate writing. I’m an editor. I edit things that have already been written. I don’t write. I like to be nitpicky. I like to tear things apart. And most of all, I like to be RIGHT.

Plus, I told myself I was never writing again after I finished college. We see how well that worked out.

The only reason why I’m doing this is because Jon (that asshole) helped me move. APPARENTLY there are two things Jon doesn’t do: help people move, and help people shop. I’ve already gotten one out of him. I’ve tried for the second one but got a hard pass. You can bet your (insert F bomb) ass I will succeed one day. We have long lives ahead of us, and I have leverage.

Let me tell you how I ended up chained to Mr. Dominguez here…

Second day of class, we go through introductions, (why do we still do that in college? Who gives a shit what the guy sitting next to me wants to do with his life), after class this big Mexican guy that talked about Whiskey walks up to me and says “You should be my editor”, and I was like “I’d love to edit your work!” I had no (insert F bomb) idea what I was getting myself into.

I also wouldn’t change it for a million Swarovski pens.

BTW I love Swarovski pens so if you ever feel like the stories should be going in a different direction, I’m the person to bribe. With Swarovski pens. I already have the purple, gray, champagne, and black one.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say but am having a really hard time saying, mostly because I don’t really do feelings, or sentimental shit, or any kind of emotion except for sarcasm and anger. I got off track. What I’m trying to say is that I (insert F bomb) love this guy.

In a matter of 6 months (almost), Jonathan Dominguez has become one of my besties (that means he’s going to be standing next to me in a dress at my wedding), and I don’t really like people so it’s kind of a big deal. Jon is one of the most genuine, whole hearted, and just plain fucking good people I’ve ever met in my life. And for that I thank you sir.

Jackie, I love you even more for being able to attach yourself to such a pain in the ass and flourish. If Jon’s such a great person, the fact that you are his other half says enough.

Anyway, because of this amazing relationship that we’ve built, you can bet your ass I will edit these books to the best of my ability, and the end result will be a masterpiece. Even if I have to beat Jon over the head to make him change what I want.

Tiarra